“My Whole Life, I Have Never Known A Moment Without Fear”

Saru’s journey is one of the most compelling in Star Trek lore. As someone who battles anxiety on a regular basis, Saru has become a hero, and a metaphor when I can’t find the words to explain. Kelpians experienced their entire life as prey. Waiting for something, someone to come after them. Waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Coming from that life to serve on a starship, Saru’s journey was inspiring even before he transformed. A friend said to me once, that I was the bravest person he knew. I laughed in response because brave is not a word I would ever use to describe myself. But then he said, “You’re afraid of everything, but you do anyway.” He said he wasn’t afraid of anything, sometimes to his detriment, and so he wasn’t very brave. But when he watched me navigate the world, terrified of most aspects of daily life, he saw bravery.
While I’m still fairly certain I don’t deserve such praise, when I see Saru, I think of that a lot. Every second of every day, he felt fear, but he left home, joined Starfleet, moved to a starship that glides through the inhospitable environment of space and keeps going. Does it anyway.

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